Okay, so Valentine's Day might not be the best day of the year for you to receive presents.
But for me, it's different.
It's my birthday.
Planning ahead, I decided what my Loved One would really like to give me would be a DVD of Al Gore warning me about Climate Change and global warming.
We stoked up the fire, turned the central heating to full, and settled down in front of the machinery.
Yes, it did seem a bit ironic that here we were, ready to be primed about how new technology is threatening the planet, and we couldn't get the technology to work.
There were words, of a sort, someone mumbling. And music, kinda.
But no visuals.
Ah, I thought, clever Al.
It's a test.
If we can get the DVD to work, it proves we're ready to adapt to the post-Apocalyptic world.
On the other hand, there might be a bit of fluff on the laser head.
What we need is a Head Cleaner.
Then I had a bright idea.
I would take out the Al Gore DVD and put another one in. If that worked, it would tell me - something - and I could move on.
With fumbling fingers, I took the Tai Chi DVD out of its cover and slapped it in the player.
Thing is, I knew this would work. We had played it only last week, dancing round the room and improving our balance, co-ordination and Chi. It had to work.
Then I had another idea.
I would take Al Gore out of the set-top box, the DVD player on my TV, and instead put it on my desktop computer. If the programme played on that, it would prove - something. I'd be able to work out what the problem was.
It didn't work.
Strangely enough, it did prove one thing, but something totally new.
Me, for one, didn't know that Bill Gates has no intention of letting us watch DVDs on our computers, unless we pay another 14.95 dollars.
I'd played DVDs before, hadn't I?
Ah, but then it hit me.
The DVDs came from - 'a friend'. He also gave me a copy of Win DVD.
In short, a knocked off program to watch a knock-off DVD.
I hadn't put two and two together.
Since I switched to Windows XP I hadn't dabbled in DVDs and had no need to test the system.
So, suprise, surprise to me.
DVD's don't work, not with Windows Media Player, without an add-on, and more money.
Well, you're probably getting bored now, so here's the ending.
Yes, we did get Al Gore working.
No, it wasn't anything complicated.
The Loved One said 'Try twiddling the wires', so I did.
Seems like the SCART socket was loose, or maybe the SCART plug.
Either way, visuals came on and I learned a lot about global warming.