Kidnapping Cameron (for Christmas) - MikeScantlebury website -

Kidnapping Cameron (for Christmas) - MikeScantlebury website -
It's a sad story. Firstly, November was 'National Novel Writing Month' and the challenge was to write a brand-new, 50k words of story within the 30 days of November. Done that. Secondly, it's a tale of kidnap, derring do, rescue and recuperation, all set within the confines of Salford University. Who would have believed that. Thirdly, the brother. Does David Cameron really have a brother??

BBC TV ? I'm against it! (song)

Here's my song, written to celebrate the BBC arriving in Salford Quays in 2011.
Howdy, BBC. Welcome. Sorry to be so critical......

listen to ‘Against the BBC (song)’ on Audioboo

Carneval

listen to ‘Carneval’ on Audioboo

The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume

Who's the shouty man in the lumberjack shirt?
(And what is he selling?)

If it's not double glazing, it might be something more interesting.


The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume

Crowd Funding: The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume

The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume

Yeah, click on the link and you get a chance to take a share in a new novel. In fact, you can get a free download or a free copy of the paperback book, (for a few pounds). Spend a few more and you can even get a walk-on part in the story! (Has that been done before?)

BBC bans book 'critical' of the BBC

The BBC is moving to Salford Quays.
For people living in the twin cities of Manchester and Salford, this has been the biggest news in years. For Manchester residents, it's a tragedy to see the 1960s office block that housed the BBC headquarters on Oxford Road in the city centre becoming boarded up and empty. For residents of Salford, it's a joy to see famous names move down the river to the brand spanking-new tower blocks that call themselves 'Mediacity', the new home of the BBC in the north west of England.
It's no surprise to hear that the BBC doesn't want to make such a huge upheaval without 'consulting' everybody; they have consulted their own employees, and found that some who now live in Manchester aren't bothered about relocating, but the ones who now work in London aren't looking forward to a move up to the savage north. The BBC haven't bothered consulting people in Manchester, of course, because most of them are gutted. They've 'consulted' with residents of Salford, though, and found two main responses: some are flattered and honoured at the prospect of being host city to the distinguished broadcaster, while hoping that they might find jobs in the shiny new offices. Others are more cynical, convinced that the few new jobs available will suit the unqualified residents who live nearby and unimpressed that the new bars and restaurants of Mediacity will have anything to tempt their palette.
I'm a resident of Salford. When I started thinking about my reaction to the plans, I had mixed feelings: I knew that nobody was going to offer me a job on Salford Quays, not even as a doorman. I also was sympathetic to local people who are having their expectations built up but aren't going to see their sons and daughters employed by the big corporation either, (mainly because of lack of paper qualifications). But, I was also keenly aware of a contradiction: Salford Quays is branding itself as 'Mediacity' but, in my experience, Salford itself is a media city.
When I thought about the message I wanted to get across to the BBC, it's simply this: the BBC is not the only producer of 'media' in Salford. Many Salford residents have skills and experience in making films; plays and drama; songs and music; art; sculpture; and other forms of writing like poetry, stories and books. Having been involved in maintaining a 'Creative Writing' group in the heart of Ordsall for eighteen months, I knew that local people had immense creativity and had come up with an amazing output. This has been showcased at the Ordsall Festival; weekly on Salford City Radio, our local station; and in a book produced in the summer of 2010 of selected writings.
Only one problem: the BBC don't want to hear that someone has written a book which will tell them all this. I've sent it for review to 'Front Row' and the Radio 2 Book show. I've given it to Radio Manchester. I've sent emails; Press Releases; and blogs. The blogs, in particular, are a real problem: if you try to make a link to a book on a BBC blog, they accuse you of 'being commercial' and delete the contribution. Let's be clear: I am completely happy to GIVE AWAY copies of the damn book, if only BBC would deign to read it, and hear the voices of people in Salford.
There is an old Zen saying: 'If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is there to see it, did it really happen?' We could update that for the modern age: 'If a book is written about the BBC, but they never read it, review it or even allow their employees to hear about it, does that book really exist?'
The BBC has given their answer.

My Blog Log

How does that look?
Can you see what it is yet?

Joe Coffey does fiction

All Joe Coffey did was set up an Art Exhibition,
down at Langworthy Cornerstone.
Little did he know that the 'One Day Film Club'
(see their page on Facebook)
would come in and make a short drama.
Poor Joe.

Joe (drama) on Youtube

Joe Coffey HOODLIFE Exhibition

This is amazing!
I get interviewed at an Art Show.
(I know, me, at an 'art' show!)

Moving onto the cutting edge of technology

Ouch!
It's a sharp place to be, a razor's edge.
Who needs to be out here, gunning for the horizon?
Anything to add?
Well, actually, I want to put some code in here.


I'm not saying it will do me any good, but I'm interested to know if it's going to put fuel in the tanks or rubber on the brakes.
I'll let you know, when the goldfish coughs.

Other ways to impress

Picture the scene. I'm driving sedately in my family car across the desolate moors of Derbyshire, in particular the High Peak area of North West England, the far side of Macclesfield. It's a long, fairly straight road, but there are some vicious bends in it, and if you take them too fast you can end up in the ditch, your car a write-off. Maybe that's why some sections of the road have a 50 miles per hour speed limit. It's known as a dangerous place to drive, and also fairly renowned for having more than its fair share of motorbike traffic. (It seems the 'Easy Riders' like the twists and turns and enjoy the risk. They're asked not to: there are posters at intervals along the road warning them to slow down. They regularly ignore the injunctions. Motor bike riders regularly crash, especially in wet weather.)

This day I'm talking about is fortunately dry. I'm keeping up a good speed, but well within the limit. I don't want to dawdle, because I know that it can annoy those people following. Sure enough, that day, there is a car a few metres behind me, pressing hard, trying to get past. He seems in a bit of a hurry, so, as I want to be helpful, I go as fast as I can (or, strictly speaking, as fast as we are both allowed). He doesn't care about that, he just wants to get ahead. Not surprisingly, he seizes the first chance he can get. As we come down round a bend, he swings out and hammers past me, his engine racing. He didn't judge it very well. The road ahead seemed clear for a while, but a car comes round the bend ahead of us, and my overtaker has to pull in abruptly in order to avoid a collision.

Firstly, he took a chance, an unnecessary risk, simply in order to get ahead. It doesn't help his journey. A mile further on is a junction and I caught him up there. Slightly further on are traffic lights, and he was forced to stop there too. So, simply because he didn't like his position on the road – behind me – he put all our lives at risk. If he had crashed his car, it might have caused me to come off the road too, plus the people in the car coming towards us. The slightest misjudgement could have been fatal. Being in pole position didn't speed up his journey because it's such a winding road that he couldn't build up enough speed to really get ahead of me. That was a mistake.

Still, let's be fair. He had a car that looked impressive. It was more modern than mine, and made all the right noises. Surely he was entitled to race it? Not if his bad driving put our lives at risk. Second, not if he broke the law, i.e. the speed limits, which were clearly marked and surely there for all our sakes. Anyway, let's think about that. Do we know it was his car? It might have belonged to his employer. Would his boss have encouraged him to hammer his vehicle, knowing it would shorten the serviceable life of the car? What if – more likely – the car belonged to the bank? Yes, we don't like to think about it, but it's a fact that if we 'buy' things on credit then they don't actually belong to us, not until they're paid off. 'His' car might be yet another consumer possession that the man was able to use, but hadn't quite paid for yet – and therefore didn't actually own.

Fourthly, why was he in such a hurry anyway? Now, his employer might be involved at this stage. Maybe he had given the man orders about being at such-and-such a place, to meet a certain person at such a time. Me, I was ambling along because it was early afternoon. I had fulfilled my appointments for the day and was heading home. (The joys of self-employment!) So, our 'boy racer', in his brand new car, isn't a person to be envied all that much, if his time is not his own, and he is 'racing' to perform business that won't actually make him rich and is someone else's priority.

What a disappointment! I may be guessing, but I think that young man in his shiny car was pretty full of himself. He was gunning the engine and assuming that other drivers were envying him, his flash motor and his fast-paced lifestyle. He would be horrified to hear that observers were, in reality, feeling sorry for him, the stresses placed upon him and the way he was wasting his time and energy. Sound familiar? How many of us want to be admired? That's an obvious thing to get. Just got out and do something worthwhile. It might be difficult, of course. But don't expect that you can take the easy way out and simply show off your glossy possessions at the populace in order to earn their admiration automatically. Their pity, maybe, but driving fast cars recklessly and a non-stop, busy lifestyle is simply a sign of bad time-keeping. Nothing to admire there.