The trouble with the so-called 'News' media in this country is that they can't handle anything that is actually new.
I mean, they know about the Loch Ness Monster, right? But if you told them that a giant reptile had been found in, say, Hillingdon Reservoir, they'd be lost for words. They wouldn't know how to react. Look what happened several years ago when there was an eathquake in Stoke-on-Trent. They knew about earthquakes in Chile; in Aberbizhan; in Iran. But Stoke? They didn't know how to handle it. Was it a joke?
They simply have very few categories. The Olympics? It's 'sport'. Last summer, I wrote a novel about the Olympics, BEFORE it happened. That wasn't 'news'. It wasn't 'sport'. Was it 'art'? Was it 'literature'? Better play safe, and not mention it at all.
This autumn I wrote a novel about David Cameron being kidnapped in Salford. It featured David Cameron's younger brother. He's got a brother?? The media couldn't handle it. Better not to mention it at all.
I blame cynicism. The problem is that most journalists learn at Journalism College to adopt an attitude of 'seen it all, been there, done that'. When you hit them with something that is actually 'new', then, it punctures their carefully constructed veneer. How can they be cynical about something they've never seen before? How can they say 'Seen it', when they haven't? How can they admit, 'Actually, that's a bit different'.
Better to play safe. Pretend you know what it is. And dismiss it.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Kidnapping Cameron (for Christmas) - MikeScantlebury website -
Kidnapping Cameron (for Christmas) - MikeScantlebury website -
It's a sad story. Firstly, November was 'National Novel Writing Month' and the challenge was to write a brand-new, 50k words of story within the 30 days of November. Done that. Secondly, it's a tale of kidnap, derring do, rescue and recuperation, all set within the confines of Salford University. Who would have believed that. Thirdly, the brother. Does David Cameron really have a brother??
It's a sad story. Firstly, November was 'National Novel Writing Month' and the challenge was to write a brand-new, 50k words of story within the 30 days of November. Done that. Secondly, it's a tale of kidnap, derring do, rescue and recuperation, all set within the confines of Salford University. Who would have believed that. Thirdly, the brother. Does David Cameron really have a brother??
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
BBC TV ? I'm against it! (song)
Here's my song, written to celebrate the BBC arriving in Salford Quays in 2011.
Howdy, BBC. Welcome. Sorry to be so critical......
Howdy, BBC. Welcome. Sorry to be so critical......
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume
Who's the shouty man in the lumberjack shirt?
(And what is he selling?)
If it's not double glazing, it might be something more interesting.
The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume
(And what is he selling?)
If it's not double glazing, it might be something more interesting.
The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Crowd Funding: The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume
The new Charles Dickens | Sponsume
Yeah, click on the link and you get a chance to take a share in a new novel. In fact, you can get a free download or a free copy of the paperback book, (for a few pounds). Spend a few more and you can even get a walk-on part in the story! (Has that been done before?)
Yeah, click on the link and you get a chance to take a share in a new novel. In fact, you can get a free download or a free copy of the paperback book, (for a few pounds). Spend a few more and you can even get a walk-on part in the story! (Has that been done before?)
Friday, June 03, 2011
BBC bans book 'critical' of the BBC
The BBC is moving to Salford Quays.
For people living in the twin cities of Manchester and Salford, this has been the biggest news in years. For Manchester residents, it's a tragedy to see the 1960s office block that housed the BBC headquarters on Oxford Road in the city centre becoming boarded up and empty. For residents of Salford, it's a joy to see famous names move down the river to the brand spanking-new tower blocks that call themselves 'Mediacity', the new home of the BBC in the north west of England.
It's no surprise to hear that the BBC doesn't want to make such a huge upheaval without 'consulting' everybody; they have consulted their own employees, and found that some who now live in Manchester aren't bothered about relocating, but the ones who now work in London aren't looking forward to a move up to the savage north. The BBC haven't bothered consulting people in Manchester, of course, because most of them are gutted. They've 'consulted' with residents of Salford, though, and found two main responses: some are flattered and honoured at the prospect of being host city to the distinguished broadcaster, while hoping that they might find jobs in the shiny new offices. Others are more cynical, convinced that the few new jobs available will suit the unqualified residents who live nearby and unimpressed that the new bars and restaurants of Mediacity will have anything to tempt their palette.
I'm a resident of Salford. When I started thinking about my reaction to the plans, I had mixed feelings: I knew that nobody was going to offer me a job on Salford Quays, not even as a doorman. I also was sympathetic to local people who are having their expectations built up but aren't going to see their sons and daughters employed by the big corporation either, (mainly because of lack of paper qualifications). But, I was also keenly aware of a contradiction: Salford Quays is branding itself as 'Mediacity' but, in my experience, Salford itself is a media city.
When I thought about the message I wanted to get across to the BBC, it's simply this: the BBC is not the only producer of 'media' in Salford. Many Salford residents have skills and experience in making films; plays and drama; songs and music; art; sculpture; and other forms of writing like poetry, stories and books. Having been involved in maintaining a 'Creative Writing' group in the heart of Ordsall for eighteen months, I knew that local people had immense creativity and had come up with an amazing output. This has been showcased at the Ordsall Festival; weekly on Salford City Radio, our local station; and in a book produced in the summer of 2010 of selected writings.
Only one problem: the BBC don't want to hear that someone has written a book which will tell them all this. I've sent it for review to 'Front Row' and the Radio 2 Book show. I've given it to Radio Manchester. I've sent emails; Press Releases; and blogs. The blogs, in particular, are a real problem: if you try to make a link to a book on a BBC blog, they accuse you of 'being commercial' and delete the contribution. Let's be clear: I am completely happy to GIVE AWAY copies of the damn book, if only BBC would deign to read it, and hear the voices of people in Salford.
There is an old Zen saying: 'If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is there to see it, did it really happen?' We could update that for the modern age: 'If a book is written about the BBC, but they never read it, review it or even allow their employees to hear about it, does that book really exist?'
The BBC has given their answer.
For people living in the twin cities of Manchester and Salford, this has been the biggest news in years. For Manchester residents, it's a tragedy to see the 1960s office block that housed the BBC headquarters on Oxford Road in the city centre becoming boarded up and empty. For residents of Salford, it's a joy to see famous names move down the river to the brand spanking-new tower blocks that call themselves 'Mediacity', the new home of the BBC in the north west of England.
It's no surprise to hear that the BBC doesn't want to make such a huge upheaval without 'consulting' everybody; they have consulted their own employees, and found that some who now live in Manchester aren't bothered about relocating, but the ones who now work in London aren't looking forward to a move up to the savage north. The BBC haven't bothered consulting people in Manchester, of course, because most of them are gutted. They've 'consulted' with residents of Salford, though, and found two main responses: some are flattered and honoured at the prospect of being host city to the distinguished broadcaster, while hoping that they might find jobs in the shiny new offices. Others are more cynical, convinced that the few new jobs available will suit the unqualified residents who live nearby and unimpressed that the new bars and restaurants of Mediacity will have anything to tempt their palette.
I'm a resident of Salford. When I started thinking about my reaction to the plans, I had mixed feelings: I knew that nobody was going to offer me a job on Salford Quays, not even as a doorman. I also was sympathetic to local people who are having their expectations built up but aren't going to see their sons and daughters employed by the big corporation either, (mainly because of lack of paper qualifications). But, I was also keenly aware of a contradiction: Salford Quays is branding itself as 'Mediacity' but, in my experience, Salford itself is a media city.
When I thought about the message I wanted to get across to the BBC, it's simply this: the BBC is not the only producer of 'media' in Salford. Many Salford residents have skills and experience in making films; plays and drama; songs and music; art; sculpture; and other forms of writing like poetry, stories and books. Having been involved in maintaining a 'Creative Writing' group in the heart of Ordsall for eighteen months, I knew that local people had immense creativity and had come up with an amazing output. This has been showcased at the Ordsall Festival; weekly on Salford City Radio, our local station; and in a book produced in the summer of 2010 of selected writings.
Only one problem: the BBC don't want to hear that someone has written a book which will tell them all this. I've sent it for review to 'Front Row' and the Radio 2 Book show. I've given it to Radio Manchester. I've sent emails; Press Releases; and blogs. The blogs, in particular, are a real problem: if you try to make a link to a book on a BBC blog, they accuse you of 'being commercial' and delete the contribution. Let's be clear: I am completely happy to GIVE AWAY copies of the damn book, if only BBC would deign to read it, and hear the voices of people in Salford.
There is an old Zen saying: 'If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is there to see it, did it really happen?' We could update that for the modern age: 'If a book is written about the BBC, but they never read it, review it or even allow their employees to hear about it, does that book really exist?'
The BBC has given their answer.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Joe Coffey does fiction
All Joe Coffey did was set up an Art Exhibition,
down at Langworthy Cornerstone.
Little did he know that the 'One Day Film Club'
(see their page on Facebook)
would come in and make a short drama.
Poor Joe.
Joe (drama) on Youtube
down at Langworthy Cornerstone.
Little did he know that the 'One Day Film Club'
(see their page on Facebook)
would come in and make a short drama.
Poor Joe.
Joe (drama) on Youtube
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Joe Coffey HOODLIFE Exhibition
This is amazing!
I get interviewed at an Art Show.
(I know, me, at an 'art' show!)
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Moving onto the cutting edge of technology
Ouch!
It's a sharp place to be, a razor's edge.
Who needs to be out here, gunning for the horizon?
Anything to add?
Well, actually, I want to put some code in here.
I'm not saying it will do me any good, but I'm interested to know if it's going to put fuel in the tanks or rubber on the brakes.
I'll let you know, when the goldfish coughs.
It's a sharp place to be, a razor's edge.
Who needs to be out here, gunning for the horizon?
Anything to add?
Well, actually, I want to put some code in here.
I'm not saying it will do me any good, but I'm interested to know if it's going to put fuel in the tanks or rubber on the brakes.
I'll let you know, when the goldfish coughs.
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